Current mood:	hungry
Entry tags:	notebook focus, philly

Philadelphia Notebook Focus 1
So, I promised my family I'd put my required journals online, just for tab-keeping purposes. It turns out the required journals are sort of guided and weekly instead of daily, but I'm going to do both. Daily entries are for a "Critical Reflection Notebook," which is supposed to help me get as much as possible out of my experience. This one is a guided entry, or "Notebook Focus." Please forgive me if I slip in to semi-academic, impersonal, I'm-making-a-point writing.

Fitting In

To fit in is usually to belong to and get along with a group of people that each identify in a shared way. For example, those of us here with an internship through the Philadelphia Center may not have anything else in common, but we all identify ourselves as being here with an internship through the Philadelphia Center for the summer of 2008. Furthermore, the fact that we share that one identifier gives us more in common with each other than with anyone else in the city. For me, at least, it's enough to make me feel that I have a part in the group's welfare, not just my own. If we don't look out for each other, who will? It seems that the others feel the same way—many of us shared dinner in one of the dorms Sunday night, with the residents playing hostesses. Everyone seemed enthusiastic about making it a regular event, with different dorms hosting each time. In this case, because the group is based on shared circumstance, the only requirements for fitting in are being part of the Philadelphia Center program and being willing to lend a hand.

Other groups have more stringent requirements for fitting in. Those based on ideology—religious organizations being obvious examples—are possibly the toughest. Even an ideology that claims to accept people for their individual strengths and weaknesses, whatever they might be, still expect members of the group to feel the same way. I was raised Unitarian Universalist, nominally a religion that encourages "acceptance of one another" and a "free and responsible search for truth and meaning." In a nutshell, we think everyone has the right to live their life in the way that works best for them. Unfortunately, the waters of acceptance get muddy when it comes to people who don't accept other people, particularly when non-acceptance becomes outright rejection and violence toward other people. For myself, I'll absolutely grant everyone the right to live their life in the way that works best for them, and I'll accept them as human beings—but I retain the right to disagree with and dislike their choices. To fit in with an ideology often means rationalizing of this kind, so that you can live with yourself as well as those who share your ideology.

The best kind of fitting in is with people you simply like, and these people are called friends. Friends often share circumstances, ideologies, and interests, but not necessarily in every particular. Most friends simply take an interest in each other for whatever reason and enjoy each other's company. Very good friends will support each other even when one or the other isn't at their best. There is more than a sense of obligatory give and take to bind friends. There aren't any exact requirements for fitting in with a group of friends, and it's senseless to propose them. You can't be a good friend without being honest about who you are, because no one can come to like you if they don't know who you really are.

Fitting in can be a complicated business, but it seems to me that it comes down to basic components: having something in common with a particular group; being willing to get along with others in the group, even if their lifestyles aren't quite the same as yours; and presenting yourself honestly. The last is especially important. You will never fit comfortably in any group that has false expectations about who you are. --June 3, 2008

Oh--if anyone has recipes for quick, simple meals that go a long way and aren't too expensive, please send them my way. I'd really appreciate it. ^_^